How Do We Build Resilience?
By Hsiao-Nung (Nora) Liu, Therapy Associates
Most of ACRS’ clients have experienced many adversities throughout their lives, such as post-war trauma, loss of loved ones, or adjusting to a new life in a new country and culture. Along with poverty, divorce, health complications or job loss from COVID-19, and traumatic experiences such as sexual assault, domestic violence, or abuse, all of it contributes to how a person reacts to these circumstances.
Clients often come to counseling sessions focusing on a specific problem or negative feelings disturbing their lives. As a therapist, I work with them to explore their strengths in coping with difficulties and bouncing back from any negative emotions.
One study shows almost 90% of the population will experience at least one significant trauma in their lifetime. Some people recover from such events, while others may not have the same ability to bounce back and become depressed or develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Resilience plays a significant role in how individuals recover from trauma.
What is resilience? Resilience is the ability or capacity to manage hardships and shield from the effects of negative stress, allowing people to overcome challenges. A resilient person still experiences depression, anger, stress, and sadness from hardships; however, they can adapt, readjust, and surmount obstacles in different ways.
Resilience can be developed in many ways, varies from person to person, and is built over time. One way we build resilience is through our interactions with others. In fact, many AAPI cultures focus on the importance of community. When facing adversity, the strong support we receive from our connections counterbalances any negative effects on our mental health. In AAPI communities in the U.S., many of us can identify or relate to certain groups because of common backgrounds or interests. By widening our circle and connecting with others across AAPI communities, we expand our capability to build resilience in overcoming problems.
Many past clients have received support and services from ACRS, while also finding their strengths and recovering from challenges. During their recovery journey, these individuals explored ways to give back and support others. I was touched when I learned our elderly Chinese support group decided to join and support our annual Walk for Rice, a fundraising event for the ACRS food bank, by making dumplings and donating all the proceeds. They beautifully demonstrate the resilience of people and the spirit of AAPI communities to contribute to the wellbeing of others.
When we encounter roadblocks in life, these crises are also a turning point and opportunity for self-discovery. After experiencing hardship, we can learn from the experience and develop a new coping skill to survive, thus building resilience.
As members of AAPI communities, our cultures may have taught us to be humble in our success and not speak out against others, even if we disagree on issues. We’ve seen many new immigrants or first-generation American-born AAPI individuals struggle to find a balance between dealing with conflict passively and speaking out assertively. Rather than removing ourselves from a stressful situation, finding a balance between being humble and assertive and taking on challenging situations decisively also builds our resilience and confidence. Removing ourselves from a situation and hoping it will go away actually negatively impacts our emotions and our ability to deal with stress.
We can strengthen resilience in many other ways, such as staying optimistic, viewing things from various perspectives, paying attention to our own needs, and embracing changes in our life. All these resources we have within. It is a lifetime journey to build our resilience, but with each courageous step, we can create a stronger self that can conquer any adversity.
